The Rare Bird Review

One other little item that relates to Bird's trip back from Finland via London is a 'nasty, little row' now in progress between France and England.

At a recent European meeting Jacques Chirac of France, Gerhard Schroeder of Germany and Vladimir Putin of Russia were discussing the upcoming summit in Edinburgh, Scotland. Mssr. Chirac was overheard to remark to the other two, "One cannot trust people whose cuisine is so bad."

Mr Chirac's comments were reported in the French newspaper Liberation after several journalists overheard his jokes with Gerhard Schroeder and Vladimir Putin. The three gentlemen are pictured below sharing a somewhat lighthearted moment.

"The only thing they have ever done for European agriculture is mad cow disease," Mr Chirac said, according to the newspaper's report.

"After Finland, it is the country with the worst food."

Well, the remarks have hit a nerve in jolly, old England since there will be two formal banquets during the G8 summit prepared by top Scottish chef Andrew Fairlie.

Britains PM Tony Blair has refused to get drawn into the controversy and the Finns are still too drunk from the wife carrying contest to have noticed the remark.

Of course that hasn't stopped the British newspapers from commenting on it. The Times called it "an astonishing diplomatic blunder".

The RBR's favorite comment came from Shadow Scottish secretary Eleanor Laing. She said Robert Burns had been right to compare French ragout and fricasse that "wad make her spew" very unfavourably with the haggis - the "great chieftain o the puddin-race".

Bird, of course, did dine in both Finland and England on his trip and had no complaints about the food, other than he does not care for mushy peas, an unexplainedly popular dish in Britain. While the Brits may have mushy peas the French would still love to eat Ortolans, a delightful little dish where songbirds are cooked whole, then popped into the mouth while the head is covered with a hood to prevent the interior juices of the little birds from spraying and spewing over other people at the table as the diner happily munches away, bones and viscera included. The French, of course, virtually ate the little birds into extinction before it became an officially frowned upon practice to consume them.

Bird will be visiting the G8 summit to represent the African flamingos, who are sure to be discussed. He will monitor the food situation closely.