Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Me and Plastic Jesus
The Rare Bird Review World Headquarters is getting some spillover visitors from the newest tourist attraction and shortcut to heaven in the neighborhood.
Just a few miles from the World Headquarters Building is a 62' tall, roadside plastic Jesus, erected by the Solid Rock Church. It faces Interstate 75 in Monroe, Ohio. One could say that the statue has become a conversation piece, and if one did, one would certainly be correct. The statue has been complete only since mid October but has already been cited as the cause of numerous traffic accidents as folks gaze at the $250,000 erection and are so overcome by the rapture that they lose control of their vehicles. This has earned the statue the nickname - Stairway to Heaven, because that is (in theory) where two recent viewers wound up as they pulled back onto the highway after stopping on the berm to take a photo of the Jesus. They flew to heaven with semi treadmarks on their angel wings!
The statue has some local competition for the tourist dollar as the same exit also hosts Larry Flynt's Hustler Magazine Superstore, though there are no reports of any deaths caused by suddenly inflating "companions" in the back seat of a car as motorists leave the Hustler parking lot. Mr. Flynt was quoted in the local press as welcoming the statue to the neighborhood because it creates more business for his enterprise. "After all, someone has to give those folks a way to sin so they have something to pray for forgiveness from. I'm just doing my part."
In honor of the statue we present here the first verse and chorus of the early 60's folksong.....
Not to be out done The Rare Bird Review is now seeking financing for a 102' statue of bird to be placed in the reflecting pool in from of the world headquarters.
The statue has some local competition for the tourist dollar as the same exit also hosts Larry Flynt's Hustler Magazine Superstore, though there are no reports of any deaths caused by suddenly inflating "companions" in the back seat of a car as motorists leave the Hustler parking lot. Mr. Flynt was quoted in the local press as welcoming the statue to the neighborhood because it creates more business for his enterprise. "After all, someone has to give those folks a way to sin so they have something to pray for forgiveness from. I'm just doing my part."
In honor of the statue we present here the first verse and chorus of the early 60's folksong.....
I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I got plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
Pretty and pink and irridescent
And you know it's phosphorescent
Late at night you can see it from afar.
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
Through all trials and tribulations
We will travel many nations
Me and plastic Jesus
We'll go far!
Not to be out done The Rare Bird Review is now seeking financing for a 102' statue of bird to be placed in the reflecting pool in from of the world headquarters.
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