The Rare Bird Review

Things at the RBRWH are gearing up for the huge, annual celebration of Robert Burns Birthday on January 25.

As the guests arrive in the lobby of the world Headquarters both Oban 14 year old single malt Scottish whisky and Anerlouor 12 year old Scottish whisky will be available for the early arrivals.

The formalities will begin at precisely at 7:03 PM as the bagpipers will pipe the guests into the great hall. Of course everyone remains standing until the head table, featuring Bird, is ready to be seated. As the music ends the crowd is seated. Higland Park 12 year old Scottish whisly will be on the table for their pleasure.

Following the welcome by the chairman, the Selkirk Grace will be recited:

Some hae meat and canna eat,
and some wad eat that want it,
but we hae meat and we can eat,
and sae the Lord be thankit.

After the appetizer of Scottish smoked salmon and a light winter salad the pipers will return at precisely 7:41 PM to pipe in the haggis.

After the haggis is set on the head table tradition insists that Burns' "To A Haggis" be recited.

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!

Also following tradition a dagger is plunged into the haggis on the words "His knife see Rustic-labour dight." The chef has promised to pre-pierce the haggis this year to avoid a reptition of last year's disaster when the haggis exploded from internal pressure as the dagger was plunged into it, spraying the head table and the surrounding area with a good amount oof painch, tripe and thairm. MacAllan 16 year old Scottish whisky will accompany the haggis.

The sumptuous Bill o' Fare will include traditional cock-a-leekie soup before the main course ("Haggis wi' bashit neeps an' champit tatties"), followed by a sweet course of "clootie dumplin" (a pudding prepared in a linen cloth or cloot) or "Typsy Laird" (a Scottish sherry trifle). Afterwards comes the cheese board, served with bannocks (traditional oat-cakes) and tea/coffee/malt whisky. Variations do exist and beef lovers can serve the haggis, neeps and tatties as a starter with roast beef or steak pie as the main dish. Vegetarians can of course choose vegetarian haggis, while vegaquarians may opt for a seafood main course such as Cullen Skink.

Following the dinner there will be a dramatic recitation of Tam O'Shanter by Bird as the 12 year old Glen Farclas is poured.

Next comes the "Toast to the Lassies" by a surprise guest. The lassies will be accompanied with Springbank Scottish whisky from Campbeltown. The "Lassies Reply" will be next and will serve as a nice foil to the Bruichladdich Islay single malt Scottish whisky.

As the wait-staff brings in the 25 year old Highland Park Scottish whisky from the Orkney's the crowd will then rise and join in the singing of Auld Lang Syne, followed by a 16 year old Lagavulin from the Isle of Islay to warm the guest for their journey home.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!


Chorus:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

And surely ye'll be your pint stowp!
And surely I'll be mine!
And we'll tak a cup o'kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

Chorus

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou'd the gowans fine;
But we've wander'd mony a weary fit,
Sin' auld lang syne.

Chorus

We twa hae paidl'd in the burn,
Frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin' auld lang syne.

Chorus

And there's a hand, my trusty fere!
And gie's a hand o' thine!
And we'll tak a right gude-willie waught,
For auld lang syne.

Chorus

It promises to be an exciting evening.