The Rare Bird Review

Ah, summer in the Highlands and that means it's the season for midges and cleggs. These very undelightful pests are the bane of tourists and locals in western Scotland at this time of year as they attack almost anything for a meal, unless the body is covered with pink feathers or 3.234 gallons of repellent highly laced with DEET.

For our North American readers the midge is similar to a very large mosquito while the clegg is similar to a horsefly.

Miss Abigail, a secretary in our human resources department, has offered this picture she snapped of her sister Margaret while the two were on a recent tour of a few of the western isles. Miss Margaret is busy warding off a midge attack in the photo to the left.

They still claim to have had a wonderful time hiking, antiquing and visiting local establishments, but they admit that the midge and clegg problem was out of hand on several occasions.

As any true Scotsman or Scotswoman (or cultured flamingo) will tell you there is only one, true way to get immediate relief from bites by cleggs and midges and that relief is pictured at the left in it's 12 year old, cask strength version.

Miss Margaret and Miss Abigail report that they found more than several versions of the cure and each brought a bottle home and plan to try it as a mosquito balm as well. Miss Abigail did add that if one drinks too much of the cure at one sitting it tends to make a body a little sleepy, though Miss Margaret said it actually made her want to get up and party. Of course Miss Margaret was always the wilder of the two sisters.